Affirmations to the 4th Power

I've been lucky to have good coaches and mentors in my life. They are the people who've given me a break, offered a hand up, encouraged me to keep going, or challenged me to reach a little farther. Heck, I wouldn't be here without them. Some are family, some are teachers, some are bosses, and some are current colleagues. In some small way each of you who read and comment on this blog are contributors and coaches.

There are a couple aspects of coaching that I am undeniably convinced work. One is goal setting. Darren Hardy provides an abridged plan to goal setting that I like. Since his goal setting map was posted at the beginning of the year, it involves a review of the past 12 months plus lessons learned. I took this conscious step a couple weeks back. What really caught me is the 2nd step - to reflect on life with gratitude. In other words, look at the parts of my life - both play and work - for which I am grateful. This may seem a better exercise for harvest time but I think its even more valuable today. I won't bore you with all the things I'm thankful for - suffice to say the list is long.

A second aspect is the process of writing down affirmations. And writing them down is the key. I was in training the last couple days and was reminded how valuable is the habit of writing the phrase - I can. Here's my list of 4 affirmations for 2007:

1. I can exercise patience and empathy with Deb and her folks by listening. My mother-in-law is battling dementia, my father-in-law is tussling with losing his vision, and my bride is spending a great deal of time with them. Its a strain on her and I'm certain will grow greater in the months to come. I can be patient and empathetic.
2. I can stay fit and eat a healthy diet by remembering how far I've come. It was just a couple years ago - the blink of an eye really - I took control of this part of my life and changed my lifestyle. I eat better and exercise more. Life is not a dress rehearsal, its in living color.
   
3. I can post to this blog - and my Zaadz blog - a minimum of twice per week and build a community one reader at a time. I can do this with or without comments and feedback but it can be a lot more fun with you. I can comment on other blogs and make a bigger community.
4. I can maintain self control through day to day life by living for now. Nothing can be done about the past and nobody knows the future - believe me on this one!
   

In order to make these affirmations reality, I can use a little organization - and humor. I love this link because the guys at 43folders use my brand of PDA. It cracks me up that nobody can patent or copyright it. Talk about open source! They have their comments currently closed so come back here - straight away I tell you - and share some of the things YOU CAN do!

"Thank you" or a raise? what would you choose?

This post over at Church of the Customer blends nicely with another item. You need subscription to WSJ online to view the story they link. Seems lawyers - the partners anyway - need some training in common courtesy. Simple phrases like "thank you" and "nice job" must to be added to training? Huh?!?! The associates have been turning over(30%) in a job that pays $160,000 per year. Who says basic human dignity is passe'.

Matt Asay gives a real life example on his blog AC/OS - My comment suggests it tells a great deal about our deep desire as humans to prefer "thank you" over "have another dollar". Appreciation trumps more $.

I've been holding this item in draft for a couple days. Link over to Harris Interactive (Harris Interactive Inc. All rights reserved, of course) and reference the top article - Trends & Tudes (Jan. 2007) "A New Approach to Tempering Materialism" in pdf form. I don't have any kids but lord knows I love 'em. Please don't tell them that - I have a reputation to uphold. For the most part, I think they get a bum rap about being more materialistic than adults. Lets face it - this 21st century of abundance has made many of us materialistic. Ipods, Blackberrys, faster machines, digital cameras, coffee at 2 bucks a cup. Luxury! We got STUFF!...and lawyers have even nicer stuff :). One could argue that our time of abundance is quickly ending - global warming - but that is for another day. Admit it - each of you, dear reader, has some degree of materialism. I know I do.

The Harris research suggests the problem isn't materialism itself but how the teens and tweens view the things they possess. Feel free to insert "adult" anyplace you read "kids". Materialistic kids without gratitude are not very generous - sort of like the law partner who neglects "thank you". Less materialistic kids - you know some - are generous and often grateful for what they have. When kids with lots of things have a sense of gratitude they are no less likely to be generous than kids without lots of stuff.

This creates an opportunity to focus efforts on encouraging children to be thankful and grateful for things they have rather than keeping things out of there hands. It is possible that being appreciative may increase children's ability to take the perspective of others and thus increase their level of empathy and pro-social behavior. Teaching thankfulness can alleviate some of the harmful social effects of materialism.

Let's say this extends to adults, too. And not just lawyers. Let's say that thankfulness IS a learned behavior and it can be taught. Law can be a ruthless calling but look at Lincoln for an example of how great a person can be - with a little gratitude. And then lets imagine a community of gratitude. All of this ties into huge ethical questions on happiness. Perhaps a little Aristotelian.

For inspiration about our future as human, read the Harris Interactive editorial view in the left rail of the study.